Workplace bullies require three crucially important things: (i) secrecy; (ii) shame; and (iii) silent witnesses.
Let me look at these in turn. One of the things that the workplace bullies are afraid of is that someone will blow their cover, whistleblowers. So, in order to ensure that secrecy is maintained, they not only intimidate the target, but they proceed to stop people talking about what is going on. They will stop at nothing to achieve this. Blackmail, threats - threatening to disclose details about another, threatening to stop another's promotion, threats against one's wife or family, and on it goes. These people are amoral, and care nothing for the norms of decent life. They need secrecy.
But they also need to use shame. In most people's lives, they are things they would not wish to have made public. They will attempt to shame them over their competence, their professionalism, their ability to do the job to the standard expected. To have such shame brought upon them would be very hurtful, so in order to avoid this, they will resort to 'silence mode.' So whatever which way, the workplace bully wins. He understands the power of shame to invoke and maintain silence.
That brings me to the third requirement - silent witnesses. The sad reality in today's workplaces is that when people see bullying going on, they refuse to speak up. One reason why they do this is to prevent them becoming the next target, an understandable enough reason, though one that displays cowardice. They convince themselves that it is none of their business, it has nothing to do with them. Some might understand why they so act, or not act, and their reasons might be logical. What they do not realise, though, is that the victim is crying out for someone to intervene and say, 'This is enough.'
These 'onlookers' form a group of people who have individually or corporately made a decision not to get involved in this bullying scenario. All agree, by their inaction, that this is the right thing to do. They tolerate what they know to be wrong and unacceptable behaviour, their decision is indefensible, but still they follow this pathway. When that decision not to help produces a result that they never imagined, for example, the target completes suicide, is sacked from the job because of his violent behaviour towards the bully, suffers a serious mental breakdown, is left unable to work again, they then look for a culprit to blame for them not doing anything. What they don't realise is that this outcome could have been avoided had they acted differently.
Let me look at these in turn. One of the things that the workplace bullies are afraid of is that someone will blow their cover, whistleblowers. So, in order to ensure that secrecy is maintained, they not only intimidate the target, but they proceed to stop people talking about what is going on. They will stop at nothing to achieve this. Blackmail, threats - threatening to disclose details about another, threatening to stop another's promotion, threats against one's wife or family, and on it goes. These people are amoral, and care nothing for the norms of decent life. They need secrecy.
But they also need to use shame. In most people's lives, they are things they would not wish to have made public. They will attempt to shame them over their competence, their professionalism, their ability to do the job to the standard expected. To have such shame brought upon them would be very hurtful, so in order to avoid this, they will resort to 'silence mode.' So whatever which way, the workplace bully wins. He understands the power of shame to invoke and maintain silence.
That brings me to the third requirement - silent witnesses. The sad reality in today's workplaces is that when people see bullying going on, they refuse to speak up. One reason why they do this is to prevent them becoming the next target, an understandable enough reason, though one that displays cowardice. They convince themselves that it is none of their business, it has nothing to do with them. Some might understand why they so act, or not act, and their reasons might be logical. What they do not realise, though, is that the victim is crying out for someone to intervene and say, 'This is enough.'
These 'onlookers' form a group of people who have individually or corporately made a decision not to get involved in this bullying scenario. All agree, by their inaction, that this is the right thing to do. They tolerate what they know to be wrong and unacceptable behaviour, their decision is indefensible, but still they follow this pathway. When that decision not to help produces a result that they never imagined, for example, the target completes suicide, is sacked from the job because of his violent behaviour towards the bully, suffers a serious mental breakdown, is left unable to work again, they then look for a culprit to blame for them not doing anything. What they don't realise is that this outcome could have been avoided had they acted differently.
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