Toughing It Out!

If it became well-known that you were being bullied at work, and your friends and family members asked you why you tolerate such behaviour, what would you say?

Would you give some such reason as, "I love my job. It's my manager I can't stand. I will stay away from him, and keep my head down." Fear is at work in this response.

Or, "some days are better than others, but you just don't know what he/she is going to be like on any one day." Fear is the motivator this case, too.

Do you answer your genuinely concerned friends by saying, "Well, I'm trying to put two children through college and on to university, and I need my job to help to pay the bills and fees." Fear is in evidence here, too.

"My wife doesn't work, and like everyone else, we are finding it a real challenge to pay the bills." Fear is at the helm in this response.

"I am strong enough, and I can tough it out. He may not be good, but he is much better than the one who left." The same dynamic is operating in this response.

"If I left my job, I would be totally misunderstood by all who know me," another response that is characterised by crippling fear.

When everything is placed in the weighing scales, what you find is an extraordinary result: everyone who uses these excuses has made a calculation that makes them say, and believe, that facing a new situation, doing different work in a different place and with a different company, is more intolerable that the daily torture and anxiety, misery and fear, that they face at work. They do not see the horrendous cost to their health and relationships that are involved in bearing up patiently with virtual torture, nor do they see or appreciate the tremendous benefits of moving on to something different,and hopefully, better. Research tends to support the point that, like alcoholics, Targets of workplace bullying wait too long, and indeed, until they hit 'rock bottom,' before taking the necessary action to extricate themselves from a toxic work environment. What they must learn to do more quickly is to remove bullies from their lives.